youre lurking in front of me
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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