I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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