He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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