You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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