Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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