If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
