Sponge bath it is.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize