I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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