This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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