I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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