my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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