Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
