let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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