Me. At least after what I've been through.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize