Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just high enough for therapy.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
