I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Oh god it's open bar.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
