I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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