come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
