piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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