So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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