Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
