its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
