Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
