I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
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