My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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