is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
