Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
