Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
