i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
