he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
