Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
