fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm at about main and main street
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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