is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
