i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
