its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
