So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
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