I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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