I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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