Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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