Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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