Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Sext me about skeletons
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
