I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
