i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
