Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Randomize