Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize