So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
