is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
FUCK WHALES
God I need to hump something, right now.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
