The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
