I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's shark week go big or go home
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
