If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize