Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize