Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
