I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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