I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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