Dual....:-)
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
