Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
