why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
