Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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