laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
