I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
